Battling Hearts, Troubling Mind

Dear Girls,

To your great astonishment, this space is still of recognition to yours truly! I've means to revive this page long enough and finally able to accomplish my wish since time had allowed me to.

First and foremost, I'm enjoying living the days in solitude. Though it has been a rather disturbing one, at least I have the time to really think through stuffs. I apologise if my missing in actions upset anyone. On a sad note, I'm not back from the limbo of uncertainty. I need to solve a few more puzzles to earn the totem to return to earth.

Furthermore, to be brutally honest, my purpose of this writing is not about the revival of this space. In fact, I'd like to address certain issues which have been bothering me since some time back; US. This time, i really want to get this terrible feeling off my chest. Well, I hope you all understand that i'm not using this chance to rant, complain, or to point fingers. I just want this to be resolved before it gets worst. Hopefully, all of us can spare some time to reflect on these, and perhaps we can use some day to really sit down and discuss.

It's not easy to slot time out for a dinner or meetup given our busy schedule, which revolves around family, work, relationship, and planning the future etc.. But i don't understand why we are having a hard time to get together when we are just a call away ? There are a few possibilities which popped out in my head when i think about this:

1. IS IT BECAUSE OF ME BEING HARD TO REACH ?
2. IS IT WE ARE NOT ONE ANOTHER'S PRIORITIES ANYMORE ?

where did the good old days where we used to crash at the hideout went to ?

In regards to this issue, I will like to express my disappointment. Yen Ling, what happened to you? I know it's difficult to juggle between your boyfriend and us alongside with work and family, some times, you just have to set our priorities. Maybe we are not. and if we ain't what you are concerned about, least say so. I miss the old Yen Ling who leave a day or two just for us, or who will be there when one of us are down.

For instance, when Joy was hospitalised, you weren't there to visit. As for what happened on Jerline's birthday (if you'd noticed), it surfaced to me that you merely wanted more time with your boyfriend than being there for J.
Maybe it was an abrupt plan or communication breakdown problem, you should at least let us know. with no explanations, you proved to me that we are only set as your priorities only when you have no other agendas, and that your world only revolves around jofri mainly.
I've been tactful towards you long enough. I'm saying it out not because I'm mad. Instead, I'm very upset. Because you are my friend, I want to be honest with you. Adding on to that, I hope you can trust us as your true friends and be honest with us as well.

On a happy note, i appreciate Joy's contribution to our friendship, she've always been our perpetual organiser, and always be there when shits happened (Summer Breeze, the sad depressing place for 2010). About this, i guess it's time i have to make some contributions and not weigh joy joy down too much.

Not to forget, Jerline, i'm sorry for being the last to be there for you during your recent heartbreak. I'm really not good with words, and i don't handle tears well. In the case you need a pair of listening ears in the future, you will know how to reach out to me.

Lastly, i really do think i need to brush up on my writing. thanks to the large exposure of singlish, hokkien and chinese. Ignore all grammatic errors and I APOLOGISE IF I'M TOO HARSH ON MY WORDS. Nonetheless, i'm very certain that if we really want this friendship to last, we have to resolve the present issues face to face. If a cat fight can bring us stronger, i will vote for violence.